Tips for making a relationship work From TV host Dr. Phil

Tips for making a relationship work from tv host Dr. Phil
•The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.
•You get what you give. When you give better, you get better.
•If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation.
•Forget whether you're right or wrong. The question is: Is what you're doing working or not working?
•There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing.
•Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. Embrace the change and know that it takes work.
•You don't fix things by fixing your partner.
•Intimacy is so important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world.
•You don't necessarily solve problems. You learn how to manage them.
•Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder.
•You teach people how to treat you. You can renegotiate the rules.


this is kinda true but its not proven to work. I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3+ years and no matter how i speak up on how i feel i should be treated it doesn't always work that way. He simply doesn't listen and will start spazing out the second he nears anything that might lead to a negative outcome BEFORE it even happens and we all know when u start freaking out before we even get a chance to ask then we get more suspicious about EVERYTHING that we wasnt even suspicious about before. cuz like why are u spazzing out? what r u hiding?? communication goes bothways if both parties dont communicate then we not getting anywhere at all if only one person is talking then its not gonna work. some people are stubborn as hell so u can sit there and talk and talk and talk but they wont be listening and the silent treatments ugh!!!!! yea.... the giving? omg we as females are always giving and giving ive always gave him everything and he cant do simple things for me like it doesnt even make sense yes im men bashing men are soooo frustrating!!!!! all they do is make u angry and all worked up upset annoyed and they act like they dont have a care in the world AT ALL!!! they'll sit there and watch u cry bcuz they made u cry and its perfectly ok for them to scream and raise their voice at u but when u do it its never ok all these double standards UGH!!!!! men...... i dont even know what to do with him cant live with em cant live without em... he needs to get a JOB!!!... grrrrr.. its so frustrating... hes always like oh i wanna marry u i want u to have my last name bear my children live together la la la but hes not showing any strives towards getting a job and saving up for it. he says it cause i dont keep a job for more than 3 months. well excuse me but if u only keep a job for 3 weeks 1 time a year and i get random jobs all year long for not longer than 3months whos that bad on? its like im still trying to figure out what i wanna do im still trying to make it but u ur jus sitting home doing nothing playing videogames and sleeping u expect me to always take care of u but ur not willing to do anything to help out. your idea of helping out is doing dishes. and nothing more. >:O! hes usually always lying to me so i don't really trust him too much but I'm trying to get better with that just like he "says" hes getting better with telling the truth but i shouldn't have to ask him for things i should already have : honesty, respect, communication. like the communication can always get better or worse but i expect at least some decent amount of communication i shouldn't have to sit there and guess oh whats he thinking but at the same time I'm not gonna like expect u to tell me EVERYTHING like u pooping how it looked how that felt like ew? I'm a very simple girl. i like video games i like to be independent, have fun, and i like to show my man all the love he could possibly want or need. i don't expect u to get me shit take me anywhere but do at least get a job to better yourself just cuz u don't see me working 24/7 or all the time doesn't mean u gotta sit there nd not better yourself. it makes no sense. I'm tired of arguing with him over it I'm tired of feeling unappreciated so if it happens it happens... if not then... i dunno... So anyways my family ain't shit i had been staying with Darren n Chelly at their suite with Pooba for a few days at a time, and i feel like there's a shitloada tension and drama that's going to go down, all the secrets and the lies that's within here and everywhere. i feel so confused and frustrated. For once i feel not so depressed bcuz i don't have my "family" dragging me down making me feel useless and like I'm ugly and the fattest girl ever just cuz i got titties and a ass they think that pretty is skin and bones and mosquito bites for titties >.>" i dont wanna look anorexic. they been doing me wrong for years now from stealing from me to throwing my stuff away to trying to kill me... im sooooo serious... so i dont want anything to do with them i just want to get my own place and never see them ever again. i fear my dreams are really further from my grasp then i think it is since i live in nyc shits all super expensive like crazy.. i wish everything would jus fall into place... ive worked soo hard for toooo long to keep landing flat on my ugly face like i been doing all this time... GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! i jus feel so damn hopeless... and with everything going on i feel so...suicidal... all i keep hearing is empty promises im tired of it all... i hate my life :'(